Clearing Smoke
by mirai aria
Summary: A little misunderstanding, a scandal, and maybe the threat of divorce may actually do more good than harm, in some cases, though maybe not for an ordinary couple. And Tohma and Mika are hardly an ordinary couple.


Disclaimer: Look! It's another disclaimer! **Gravitation** doesn't belong to me and as a fangirl, I do this for fun and for fun alone. We don't make a profit out of this : 3 Nya! (Editing is horrible!)

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**Clearing Smoke**

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Her marriage was crumbling, its delicate pillars refusing to hold against all the doubt and misgivings that had piled throughout the years. She hid it behind a quiet little smile though, a smile in which her lips were pressed so tightly to keep traitorous words within her turmoil-infested heart. And as her husband's many acquaintances, friends and enemies, her own immediate family and friends, walked about her smiling in and laughing about the season, she watched her husband closely, wondering idly about the turmoil within _him_ and if he was, in fact, in turmoil.

Uesugi Mika, a woman who preferred to refer to herself under her maiden name due to the many aspects of her marriage, was in turmoil. For once in her long life, as it now felt, she was desperate and insecure, and eternally so like she would be for a long, long time yet. She knew insecurity and doubt but had known it to be temporary, unlike now. She was no longer young and she had a son. Her husband, Seguchi Tohma, was a man of reputation and for the past few months that very same reputation Tohma had been cleverly attacked and used against him, and _them_.

Seguchi Tohma was, for the first time in his long-running career, knee-deep in a scandal that was putting more strain than Mika could handle on their marriage. That was why their marriage was crumbling. That was why the doubts were materializing one by one inside Mika's mind and threatening her illusion. Because Mika had known it was all but a dream and she was fooling herself… all along… all along.

"Mika-san, you're looking a bit tired."

Mika blinked and turned her head to the source of the voice, never once letting the smile on her face to falter or her eyes to twitch after being so suddenly interrupted in her thoughts. Ayaka, who had come to the annual N-G Christmas party, stood in front of her in her dainty red and green dress, holding out two plastic cups of what-looked-to-be punch from the local counter.

"I suppose I am." Mika managed to say without delay and accepted when Ayaka handed her a cup. She said a quick 'Thank you' with a slight, obligatory, bow and smiled wider. Ayaka returned her smile with a smile of her own and fell back beside her, opening her mouth to start a light conversation. Mika was ready for this, having pointed out the sympathy, perhaps pity, in the younger woman's eyes beforehand. Ever since the scandal's break a few months ago, she'd been the target of 'assuring' conversations or indirect 'I feel sorry for you' phrases. She didn't particularly like it, especially when they did it with her three-year-old son around, but she decided acting gracious and pretending not to read into their suddenly 'caring' actions was the best remedy. And it was working; she no longer felt contempt towards their actions.

"They're sorting things out, Mika-san. Everything should be well." Ayaka whispered quietly and Mika was glad to know the Usami heiress was not looking at her. She nodded quietly; she didn't quite believe that but disapproving would not, could not do anything in the situation. "I'm sure… Kyousuke made it all up to get publicity." Ayaka paused, "We all know how it is with the show business. Sakuma-san… and Shindou-san… they got through it. And Hiro too…"

Mika held a treacherous chuckle back and resisted the urge to sprout a deeply sarcastic response to that. Sakuma Ryuichi had been obviously disinterested in women to begin with and the same went with Shindou Shuichi who could not be seen in public with her famed novelist brother, Yuki Eiri, without being practically glued to the man. And then Hiro had been engaged to none other than Usami Ayaka when a rising TV actress claimed to have been having an affair with the man. His devotion and marriage with his fiancée earlier in the year pretty much summed it up for the public that he was in no way interested in an ex-porn star bombshell.

But Tohma – Tohma just had the luck to be caught with a scandal that hit a bit too close to home. A few months earlier blonde, half-American-half-Japanese Sagano Kyousuke, a reject from NG-records, came out on TV to promote his debut single under a new label. By the end of the show, he ended up becoming the subject of every housewife's gossip after admitting to having had a sexual affair with his former employer, the elusive NG Records President, Seguchi Tohma. That was where and when it all begun and the sad thing was, Mika wasn't so sure whether to believe him or not. She was not blind. She had known about Tohma's unhealthy 'obsession' with her brother and had, for a while early in their marriage, suspected the real intention behind his agreeing to the marriage.

It wasn't that Tohma neglected her and her needs, however rare that may come – she was not a demanding woman. It was just that, she had…. She just never knew where they stood in their relationship and oftentimes Mika found herself just going with the flow. She had never thought about, never worried about Tohma being gay, or marrying her out of spite. In fact, she had never had the reason to do so and had always been willing to calmly lay out a simple explanation to counter the doubts that threatened to surface. She had survived like this for so long but now, it seemed, she couldn't continue misleading herself with baseless, disillusioning words.

She suspected it was because she now had a son through the man and the thought of her son being affected by the inevitable destructive aftermath of this scandal scared her.

_Tohma's love for you isn't _that_ kind of love. It's not the romantic type. It's platonic. _

_….It's like a father, protecting his child._

"I'm sure it will all get sorted out." Mika found herself saying finally though at the back of her mind she was idly playing with the thought of who would file for divorce first and if Tohma would let her have custody of their son. She turned to Ayaka who looked glad about her response and Mika couldn't help but notice the silver ring on the younger woman's left hand when she lifted her cup to drink from it.

Just how much was a simple pair of rings and a piece of paper worth?

"I'd love to get away from this party as soon as possible." Mika said offhandedly with a tinge of irritation that immediately caught her companion's attention. Ayaka gave a curious look and she grinned before sighing exaggeratedly. "But if I leave any sooner than _him_, the whole of Japan will take it as if I was walking out of our marriage." The tone in her voice was light, almost joking and Ayaka laughed, but little did she know just how serious Mika was about it.

And how Mika wanted to simply walk out of the party in reality, even if it meant walking out of their marriage ultimately.

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The ride back home was longer than usual with the couple in a no-talking stance. The atmosphere in the car was remarkably colder than the winter weather outside and even Tohma seemed to notice it. Mika couldn't care less though, being satisfied with the foggy view the window in her side of the car provided. It was because of this distraction though that the usually road-attentive Mika, who was very much fond of fast cars and tricky roads like her brothers, didn't notice Tohma's change of direction until they stopped. Mika started when she realized, in looking out of the window, that they weren't anywhere near their apartment complex but Tohma cut her off effectively in a cold, almost monotone voice that truthfully scared Mika.

"I don't think we should go home in this way, Mika-san. Whether or not Chihiro is awake, he _will_ notice the obvious… rift… between us as of late if we come home like this." Tohma was staring straight ahead, avoiding her gaze and she smiled.

"And you think coming home alone while I begin to rot in some nearby gutter will be better?" Mika countered defiantly, ignoring the fear welling in her heart. She was well aware of what Tohma could do and that crossing that line with her _husband_ could mean more than divorce. After all, this was the man who almost put an end to one Aizawa Taki's life without qualms for hurting her beloved little brother. _God, don't think about Eiri anymore._

The moments of silence that followed was filled with what Mika imagined to be one-sided tension. She could practically hear her heartbeat booming in her ears and it struck her suddenly how much she simply did not know Tohma anymore. It frightened her and then there was that uneasy feeling that would not go away and she could not quite identify. It made her want to break down but she held herself up, using the steeliness that had kept her going even as she had to literally be her younger brothers' new maternal figure to keep herself from tearing.

"Mika-_san_." Tohma was still avoiding her gaze and he spoke softly, "What makes you think I'm planning to… _kill_… you tonight to solve this problem?"

He seemed to hesitate and then he added, "Chihiro would not want that."

"You've done it before, Tohma." Mika pointed out quietly, "And I'm sure Eiri did not need and honestly want you to almost kill Aizawa."

Mika watched as her husband's lips disappeared into a thin line and she bit her lower lip, already formulating more countermeasures.

"You're dragging Eiri-kun into this again." Tohma reminded softly and Mika's delicately shaped eyebrows drew together in a frown.

"It's because he's always been every single equation you draw, Tohma." Mika countered, "In every single situation and reason – it all comes back to Eiri."

There was a pause and Tohma lifted a hand off the steering wheel and ran it through his hair. It was the first movement he'd done ever since he began the conversation.

"You think I really did have an affair with that _boy_, don't you?" Tohma asked softly and then continued in a harsher tone that was slightly laced with sarcasm – a frightening combination for the usually calm and collected President. "You think I was really _fucking_ the boy behind my office desk and behind the recording booths, don't you?" He turned her to her smiled, "Mika-san?"

Mika's breath caught and she froze visibly. Unconsciously, she began to edge away from the blonde, pressing her back against the safety of the car door.

"Yes!" She spat and then laughed as she ran a hand through her hair. "Yes! Yes, Tohma! I believe their juicy lies, their fucking supposed-exaggerations and it would honestly make me happy if you admitted it in public and filed for divorce and ran with the boy instead of beating around the bush like this!"

She swallowed and then smiled condescendingly, "Or are you afraid of their prejudice, Tohma? Are you?"

Tohma didn't say anything and instead closed his eyes as he sat back.

Mika viewed this as an act of confirmation and she felt the last of her walls threatening to break down. "Tohma." She hissed through gritted teeth, "I'm tired of all of this. Whether this scandal is solved or not, I don't care what the outcome is but I'm getting a divorce." She breathed deeply and swallowed, "And then, you can go your way and I'll go mine. We've been suffering together for far too long and this was meant to be a marriage of convenience."

"You have your money, your power and your reputation." Mika added and then finished, "I need my life back."

Again, Tohma didn't say anything and she balled her fists, feeling the frustration bottled up within her rise up to unbearable limits. "I want your answer, Tohma! I don't think I want to live like this for a couple of years more – I don't intend to sit around until you discard me once I'm too old to find any—"

"…Faithless…" Tohma whispered suddenly. Mika's breath hitched and she found herself unable to continue when Tohma opened his eyes and turned to her, anger written all over his face.

Mika started but Tohma cut her off immediately. "_Mika-san_." He said harshly, "Three years ago, when I promised to protect you and _our_ son, I meant it."

The blonde looked away and then added with what could almost pass for sincerity, "It hurts me to know you have no faith in me."

Mika clenched her fists until her knuckles were white and it irked her, irked her so much how Tohma could still say something to self-righteous and how he could make you feel like you were in the wrong all along. She hated it but she refused to believe him, refused to let his sweet-talking get to her.

"I have every right to doubt the man who agreed to this marriage because of the bride's brother." Mika stated calmly, ignoring the fact that she was pretty much digging out old grudges against her husband. "And why am I supposed to believe you, _Tohma-kun?_ You're the man who sweet-talks his way with _lies_ and blackmail up the social ladder. I _refuse_ to be manipulated by you any more." She spat her last sentence vehemently and ignored whatever reaction her outburst had elicited from the blonde.

Tohma swallowed and was visibly shaking. Mika waited, empowered by knowledge that she had hit a nerve. It hurt to know just how much mentioning her brother affected her husband but it only strengthened the doubts she had long been cultivating inside her mind. Finally, Tohma spoke.

"I loved Eiri." He whispered, almost in shame and Mika did not know whether to be smug or to be terribly hurt by this emission of truth. "It was true I was alright with the arranged marriage because of that….." He trailed away and then stopped ultimately. Mika breathed in slowly and closed her eyes, already feeling the telltale burning down her throat.

"Mika-san—"

Mika sighed slowly as she struggled to keep her breathing even and opened the door beside her before stepping out. She ignored Tohma behind her and began walking away to the first direction that came to mind; ahead and away from Tohma.

She heard the doors from Tohma's side of the car open and close but refused to turn around even when Tohma called out to her.

"_Mika-san_…Please, stop." Tohma called out the second time and then continued in a much softer voice that resonated in the darkness. "Let me finish, _Mika_."

That stopped her then and she lowered her gaze to the gravel beneath her expensive shoes, ignoring the biting cold weather.

"I meant – yes, I was attracted to Eiri-kun the first time I saw him." Tohma paused, "I won't deny my… _nature_, if you put it that way. I wanted to _have _him, yes. But I knew my boundaries, Mika-san. And I settled for being his guardian, his over affectionate-guardian, if you like to put it that way."

"That still doesn't quite _justify_ your unfair usage of _me_, _Tohma-kun_." Mika whispered harshly and then laughed ironically, "Wait, you weren't using me to begin with. You were _taking_ _advantage_ of me because whether we liked it or not, we were arranged into _this_ marriage."

There was a long pause from Tohma's side and then the sound of his feet on the gravel hit Mika's ears. It was just a few steps and Mika was glad he did not decided to go further.

"I did, honestly, love… Mika-san." Tohma began, sounding hesitant. "I enjoyed your support. I probably… I probably took you for granted. You and your trust and thought I could go on assuming you understand me… when you don't…"

"Yes, I don't understand you, Tohma. I'm not _God_. I'm not up to par with you and your _skill, I'm sorry_."

"Mika-san, I don't mean it in that way. It's… not…" Her husband paused then, "How can I make you believe I'm not playing with your mind?"

"You're a naturally manipulative person, Tohma." Mika said softly, "That would be hard."

"I'm realizing that." He paused and then seemed to lighten, "I never prepared for this. I never thought it would come to this. I never had the reason to think so."

"You kept a tight lid on all of your other affairs, you failed on this one. Of course, Tohma, no plan or procedure is impregnable. You're not _God_. You're not perfect. "

"I know."

The sound of gravel shifting under moving weight reached Mika's ears and before she could think about them, a pair of arms encircled her shoulders.

"I'll have you know, Mika-san…_Mika_, I never did plan on impregnating women and then running off with their children, in fact, if it were any other woman, I would have had arranged for something to cause a miscarriage for them." Tohma said softly, in a frighteningly truthful voice and Mika struggled to break free from her husband's grasp only to find those arms to tighten even more around her.

"Were you looking for that kind of reply, Mika?" Tohma whispered distantly, "Because I can't seem to find the right words right now that would satisfy you."

"Maybe." Mika replied in kind and there was a long pause between the two of them. Then, she quietly extracted herself from Tohma, who willingly let her go this time, and stepped away from him. They stayed like that for a while, motionless and then Mika turned around and looked at her husband straight in the eye.

"Maybe I need something more." Mika whispered quietly and took a small step forward before placing her hands, cold from the weather, on both sides of his face and then leaning forward to press a soft kiss on his lips.

The kiss deepened and lasted for a couple of minutes until Mika broke away and smiled at her husband.

"I want something simple, Tohma. Some reassurance."

Tohma smiled back, gently and then held Mika close as he pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"You would want something cliched, Mika?"

She nodded and Tohma suddenly looked wistful, as if realizing something worth regretting.

And then he smiled, laughing softly.

"I love you, Mika."

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A/N: Screw edits again, ne? Editing is such a pain for me, I can never read through something I wrote for the nth time just to edit because my eyes automatically screen past mistakes, or something like that. I wrote this months ago, around December, for a Secret Santa exchange though, upon finishing it, I realized it's a bit too heavy for something themed for Christmas. Still, it's undoubtedly fluffy, isn't it? I enjoyed writing it, for some reason though now looking back it feels a bit too _short_ and not elaborate enough. I suppose this is the extent of my writing abilities. I've come to really hate my writing as of late. "Dun' wanna write anymore!" I end up saying whenever I try and finish my ongoing fics or start a new one. But I still do it T-T, so persistent. Nanana. I should stick with drawing – or sketching though _that_ doesn't go very far either.

One day! I'll make a doujin! Yes! Then maybe, if my muses really don't work, I'll continue **Yuki** and **Tamashii no Rufuran** in doujin form! Yay!


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